Have you ever read something that you could not get out of your head? The words fly off the pages as though alive. The imagery is so vivid that you can even smell or taste items described. The aesthetics of language in a story matter greatly. If a story is good and has value, it may not always require fancy words or flowery sentences. Sometimes, there is an elegance in simplicity. However, when stories have merit and are told well in addition to varied choices in vocabulary, it is akin to making music out of the nouns, adjectives, and verbs. It is poetic and pleasing to the eyes to read them or for the ears to hear them. Other times, sentences feel like a cacophony of words that serve no other purpose than to evoke chaos in a reader or listener. Words have meaning, power, agency, and so much more. As storytellers, we have a responsibility to ourselves as well as our listeners and readers to engage them with our characters and worlds--to make them feel--to evoke and provoke, even. We know what we want them to feel or get out of our stories, but what they may actually feel is quite different. The same goes for our own real life stories, maybe even more so.
It's so easy for us to get caught up in the way that someone talks to us. They can ruin our day completely or make it the highlight of the week. Words have power. When someone puts thoughts on paper, it stays. When someone writes a letter, that person can never truly take those words back. In a way, the same goes for speaking to another person but putting them on written pages or on the internet especially, can be really damaging if the content is a problem. Then, there are those times when words escape us. I felt like that for many years or that I'd had all the wrong words for what I wanted to say. I felt sorely misunderstood, so I had to figure out a way to attach the right meaning to the words or to find words that are correct, definition-wise for me to express the thoughts that were floating around in my head. I was never good at accurately describing what I was really thinking or feeling. I could write about it using metaphors and analogies sometimes, but I failed at being able to show or demonstrate what was going on or perhaps I worried how I would be seen as a result. I was not understood because I came across a certain way whether that was the intent or not. I have learned over the years that words are far more important than anything. I knew all this before but it finally sunk in. It's even more vital that we pay attention to our thoughts.
I've been thinking about this for a while now. I feel it is extremely important to examine what it means to tell a story, true or fictitious. It's important when we think of communication. Let me take you back to my childhood. For those of us who grew up as 80's and 90's children, our technology and digital usage was limited. You know what I mean. Who all remember the joys of having a dial-up connection? Remember when your mom or dad or brother or sister picked up the phone right as you were chatting up your best friend on AIM? And just like that, the connection got lost. It's so surreal to me that we communicated in different ways not that long ago. But now, gone are the days of the fax machine-like noise that took forever to get you online! Today, we can do that from our mobile phones. We can be storytellers much faster online. But when we used to play outside more as kids, we still found ways. We entered worlds through some of the stories or make-believe games we created. We passed handwritten notes to each other in class or left them in our friends' lockers for them to discover. We wrote stories like that. And some of us even had pen pals. A lot of us kept diaries to spill deep secrets. And sometimes, the diary was like a non-judgmental friend that you could unload to without fear of abandonment. We used words--written and spoken. These words all have power.
There is something cathartic about writing in our diaries, blogs, or online journals, etc. The difference is the audience now. When Livejournal came out, we were sharing many things besides just writing for our friends to see. Today, we have a much wider audience. We've gone so digital that sometimes our simulated lives appear far better than the real ones or in many cases, the digital world becomes too stressful. If we thought we were misunderstood before, the issues facing us are more challenging. Now, don't get me wrong. I like technology just as much as the next person, but I notice that I get anxious and uncomfortable far more frequently when I'm online for a while. The energy needed to be "social" online is surprisingly challenging, because...words have power. We write or text or message on social media much more than we engage in phone conversations. It's faster. It has its uses. But it does not always allow for proper, truthful expressions that a person can understand quickly. Sure, misunderstandings happen regardless of social media or digital communications, but it seems like it's a lot more often online in my experience.
What I've also noticed is that we tend to get into a "Me, me, me! Hey! Hey, look at me!" mindset when we get online, present company included! These are just general observations. It's not my intention to put people into boxes. Some are experts at navigating social media and the internet and do not run into these issues at all. And kudos to them! But, I make this point because I've seen it more often lately. It's sometimes to a point where I wonder why some of us seek that much attention or whether we are lacking the attention we should be getting in the first place in other ways. And I get it. Sometimes, being online is easier because of the faster response rate. I sometimes think about whether I'm caught up in that--do I seek attention for instant gratification? Am I self-absorbed? I admit that I've been weighed down with my own baggage in the past, where I could not see anything else other than my own skeletons in the closet. The words I used mattered. What I wanted to say and how it sounded were two different things. It begs another host of questions. Where do we draw the line between wanting to bring attention to an issue versus bringing negative attention to ourselves because of the way we make our posts or talk to others? How do we garner the kind of attention needed to ensure that the right message is received? I can't say I know the answer but it brings me back to the fact that words have power.
My problem is that I am verbose. I'm sure you noted that by this lengthy post! But words are important to me. I write many stories, fictional, and of course this non-fictional blog, but I am aware that my words have power and agency just as anyone else's, so I temper what I say carefully without compromising on expression. I can still be misunderstood, but I'll at least know that I did my best to be clear. I have always been a storyteller, but it's harder to be an honest storyteller when your story is filled with mistakes. It's hard not to embellish it. Maybe that's why some of us seek attention online and find company that sympathizes with us--maybe we can make our stories look better with pictures or showcase something that is an imagined yet wanted reality. Again: words have power. Our thoughts have the greatest power. We cannot ignore them. We cannot chide ourselves for them. We have to let them pass, write them down, or express them in our own way. We can never forget though to choose our words carefully, especially for how we address ourselves. Words have power. Tell your story with words that have meaning, but do not give it unnecessary power that it does not deserve.
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